Be Happy It’s Friday: Happy Mind on Friday 13th…

Be Happy – it’s Friday!
And it is a happy Friday!  Well… it was a scary Friday when I woke up this morning and not just because it is Friday 13th.  Today has been a day that I have been consciously been avoiding thinking about – do you get days like that?

I find strength in Eckhart Tolle’s words on days like today – our unhappiness is never about the situation itself, but our thoughts about it.

So, I have been consciously avoiding thinking about this morning and my date in court.  My mind would never be able to imagine what would happen, what they would ask me, what the repercussions would be, how I would feel, how I would react.  

I was awake at 5am with butterflies and nerves.  I had to become my own mind coach, just as I help my clients, I gave myself a handful of coping techniques to use to keep calm and remain in the present moment. 

We all face scary times, some scarier than others and each of us face worrying times and what I have learnt is that you never, ever know how you will react or feel in the moment that it happens.  So, there is really and simply no point in torturing yourself over and over again trying to imagine it.  You are far better to use your mind for something else.

If you find yourself in scary, unnerving or worrying time, about to do something that terrifies you, from speaking in public to your child’s first day at school to the unimaginable, you may like to try some of the techniques I used this morning.

  • Breathing:  I have used several different breathing techniques in the past but the one I used today is particularly helpful in stressful situations or if you can’t sleep.  Breathe in for the count of 4, hold for 4, breathe out for 4 and hold for 4.  Repeat until you feel your heart rate slow and your breathing return to normal. 
  • Mindfulness:  while I love meditation, my mind was whirring too much to allow me to focus on letting my thoughts pass without attaching my consciousness to them.  This is where mindfulness can be a wonderful tool to use your mind for something other than ‘thinking’ or ‘worrying’.  Rather than clock watch the minutes slowly tick by before my name was called, I chose to focus on using my senses.  I counted 5 things I could see (most of the time colours as I love colours), 4 things I could hear (the security buzzer and the jolly usher chattering), 3 things I could smell (won’t go there!), 2 things I could feel or touch (the cold metal benches and my belly churning) and 1 thing I could taste (toothpaste).
  • Gratitude:  rather than focussing on what I had to lose, I decided to focus my mind on everything I have, will continue to have and what is good in my life and forced myself to think about what I am grateful for about the justice system in the UK.
  • Planning:  I feel better with a plan.  I like to plan for the best case and the worst case.  When I have those drafted and noted out on paper, I find I can ‘let go’ and the thought merry go round and ‘what if’s’ slow down to a stop.  This practice is very helpful and needs to be on paper – the art of seeing your thoughts in ink on a page consciously allows you to be able to ‘let go’ subconsciously.
  • Your Tools: these may be ‘silly’ things but I find that certain things provide me comfort, reassurance or confidence.  I wore my Mum’s necklace to feel her close and bring her energy in to the courtroom.  I wore my lucky pants and lots of pink.  I filled my bra with crystals for love and calm and I held a lapis lazuli to ensure I spoke clearly and a black tourmaline crystal to ward off negative energies.  I took the Goddess Card with me that I pulled from my deck last night when I asked what I needed to know about the hearing; The Goddess Sige told me to use quiet time, be still and contemplate.

The experience was enough to terrify me, fill me with shame and humiliation.  But I ‘won’ in the end and I am glad that I hadn’t tortured myself unnecessarily for the days and weeks preceding.

My experience today reminded me how far I have come in being able to ‘mind my mind’.

But it was my experience afterwards that reminded me of something I need to do more of.  As the adrenaline coursed through my body as I left the courtroom, I found myself walking to one of my favourite independent coffee houses – the Hoxton North, if you are in Harrogate, it is definitely worth a visit.  It was heaving, lots of jolly chatter and smiling faces where everyone knows the effervescent owner.  Within moments I was chatting to strangers, exchanging pleasantries as they handed over their table to me.  For the next 2 hours, I found myself engaging with people who joined my table to work; swopping inspirational books recommendations, good films and discussing new ventures.  Eventually, I was joined by a young man, a film director, who shared his world of ‘visual poetry’ – how beautiful is that?  Visual poetry…

I love synchronicity.  Those moments you can look back on and see as pivotal in your progress forward.  He is a creative, looking to reboot his creativity, his self-worth and remind himself of how good he is. He wanted to learn meditation as a way to calm his busy mind and had been thinking of finding a coach to unravel his busy mind to find focus. He left with a link to my ‘5 Minutes to a Happy Mind ebook’ (link below), the Goddess Card – Sige for Quiet Time to remind him to take some (for it is in stillness that we allow our minds to be creative) and my lapis lazuli to unblock his throat chakra and share his work with the world.

This experience reminded me that no matter how much I love working from home, I need to get out more, connect more, meet new people and feel inspired by their stories.  We all need connection and it is one of the key pillars in my Transformational Programme and in fact one of the challenges I will be setting next week in my Heal Yourself Happy 7 Days Challenge that starts on Monday – are you joining in?!!!  See News below for more details.

So there we have it reader, a scary Friday the 13th turned good, like all good stories.

It’s a heat wave in the UK this weekend so maybe my chilli recipe won’t be needed like it was this week for us as the temperature dropped.  But you can keep for next week as I bet it will be autumnal again and regardless, it is good to batch cook up for emergencies.

Happy Friday!

Lots of love
Ali x

For your FREE copy of my ‘5 minutes to a Happy Mind’ – use this link:

Heal Yourself Happy News!

  • Take the free 7 Day HYH Challenge !   It’s starts on MONDAY!  The average time a woman spends looking after herself is 17 minutes.  That is all!  And if you are the last thing on your to do list, then I am here to help you make a few simple changes to remind you to look after yourself.  The challenges are FUN and you can make them as challenging as you want, based on YOU and your situation.  Over the 7 days, we will cover what I believe are the key pillars to your health and happiness – Happy Belly, Happy Body, Happy Mind…. and 4 more…   For more information use the link here!  Even if you decide not to join in, you will receive the daily emails next week and you can use them for education or at a later date to do your own challenge.
  • The HYH Academy is launching in October!   There are many reasons to want to be happy and healthy. What are yours?  Do you want to lose weight and feel good in your clothes? do you want to get your energy and mojo back?  Do you want to feel fulfilled and on purpose and certain about your life direction? There are many reasons to make a changeBut do you find yourself procrastinating and not doing anything about it? Join in the 7 Day Challenge to get a taster of what it will be all about – small steps to change your life.
  • FREE Health Coaching consultations in September. If you are interested in finding out more about my private and personalised health and happiness coaching and how it can help you, then why not book a 30 minute health coaching session with me with no obligation to continue further, unless you really want to make a significant change in your life and prioritise yourself, your health and your happiness.  All you need to do is reply to this email to set it up.

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